"Theresientstadt's Hospital"
Once, happier people lived here
in the gray building.
Now, death moves silently toward those other creatures,
those with typhoid, who moan and writhe
in their own diarrhea,
who lie here and don’t understand
why they are being fed bread and margarine.
I enter and become silent.
“You shiny new doorknobs,
you pretty painted walls in the bright ward,
can you make up for the stench of excrement?
Can you appease the hunger of those who are ashamed of their underwear,
and brought here to die,
day by day?’
The paint looks at me
and doesn’t answer.
“Why? I don’t understand why!”
It seems the doorknob would say,
when it opened for me,
a free soul, with a full stomach.
“I can tell you
and then you will come to me!”
I love how you used the front side to show the good, hope, love and the peaceful part of life, and on the back you showed the death and destruction. I like the colors you used they really give off what side is which. I found it interesting how you put your own voice in for example "The grey building, little girl, man, and little boy in my butterfly represent free joyful souls. Souls that once use to be free and had a peaceful life."
ReplyDeleteI like what you did for your butterfly project but there is somethings I would have done differently. One thing I would have changed is on some of the paragraphs you have the topic sentence then you go directly into the quote. Otherwise you have a nice butterfly it has nice drawings with meaning.
ReplyDeleteHello Denise! I truly love your cretaive and great butterfly. You put a lot effort into making your poem by put into your butterfly! You put dates and times with strong connections to your poem. Critiques I have about your butterfly is just how do tryphoid and diarrhea connect? Also what is tryphoid? And also connect your quotes within your text to the topic sentence, and the explanation. Other than those things you are completely set! 10/10 with extra effort!
ReplyDeleteGood job Denise! I can see how much time and effort you put when making this butterfly. I noticed how you used one side to show the good and liveliness from the beginning of your poem and how you used the other side to show dark and gloomy side of your poem. I like how you had a lot of detail with the blue thinglink tags that explained the author's purpose, the tone and mood, the imagery, the hopes, dreams and fears, and the figurative language. Overall you did an amazing job Denise.
ReplyDeleteWell done Denise! The two sides that are black and white really portray your poem. You explained how in the past, her life was good and now that the Nazis took control, she lives in a place of misery. All their happiness was taken away. The drawings of the people dying really means you understand and have a clear picture of what it must have been like to suffer from a fatal epidemic. While reading your poem, I saw a few grammatical errors and capatilization errors, for example, when you say," Some figurative Language...", the L has to be lowercase. This was a really good poem to describe people's lives before and during the Holocaust.
ReplyDeleteHey Denise, Good Job! Just by looking at your butterfly the drawings really caught my eye. I thought when you added the two pigeons representing life and freedom was very good it help understand your poem.
ReplyDelete